Like anything worth having, relationships take hard work. But there are simple ways to take it to the next level and make your love unstoppable.
I remember that feeling, a brand-new love that is exciting, exhilarating and crazy stressful all at the same time. Where your heart losses it’s freakin’ mind when you see their name come up on your phone and savage butterflies try to slowly kill you from the inside out. It’s amazing, but it doesn’t last forever. So how do you make your love unstoppable?
1. Create healthy boundaries (and stick to them)
Work together to set healthy boundaries so that you each are on the same page. You both should take responsibility for your own actions and don’t try to take responsibility for one another. You can’t make someone feel a certain way. You know that saying
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
That definitely applies here.
2. Embrace Change
No matter how solid your relationship is, with time people change. That means that the relationship must change with it. If change doesn’t happen together, the relationship will likely fall apart. Which brings us to …
3. Open Lines Of Communication
It’s funny. When you’re in a new relationship, all you want to do is tell the other person everything about you. And in turn, you want to learn everything about them. As time goes on, and you get more and more comfortable with each other, communication can become more difficult. It’s important to keep those lines of communication open. Take one day a week and really talk, open up to one another like you did when things were new. If there’s something you want to say it, don’t hold back. You never know how the other person will react and how it could make your relationship better.
4. Focus On The Positive Things
It’s too easy to focus on the negative, especially when you’ve been with someone for a while. No one is perfect, and we all have things that bother us – those things tend to be what our partner does or doesn’t do (lol). And while you can’t ignore the negative, being positive towards one another is an actionable way to make your love unstoppable. Saying nice things, building each other up plays a huge factor in the success of your relationship.
5. Make Time For Each Other
Life is busy, especially once kids come into play. (Parents, am I right? Or am I right?) You’ve got two families to make happy, sports, diapers, potty training, other activities. Oh and sleep, sleep is somewhere in there. What about taking care of yourself? You’ve got to fit that in too. And a shower. Definitely.
So in all of that chaos, you need to make time for each other. I dont’ mean find time, I mean make it. Carve out a date night. Even just an hour or two to sit and talk over a cup of coffee or a drink.
6. Sex (Duh)
It’s important. It’s more important to my husband than it is to me, but it wasn’t always that way. You get comfortable, you get distracted by life, but just like making time for each other, you have to make time for sex. And make time to be intimate. It keeps you close and feeling connected.
7. Stay Calm
What’s that saying? He who angers you controls you. I can’t tell you how many times that saying has gone through my mind in my marriage. If your relationship is anything like mine, your partner has figured out how to push every single one of your buttons in the exact order to make your head freakin’ explode.
But you can’t. Not every time. Not even most of the time. Stay calm, walk away, go for a drive and scream with the music. Just stay calm. Get yourself relaxed and then tackle whatever reason he had for pushing those buttons.
8. Learn From The Past
If my failed first marriage taught me anything it’s that you have to learn from your past and fix things. (coming next) If you don’t learn from your past mistakes and your past issues, you’re never going to dig yourself out of the hole you’re creating. I can’t tell you how many times my ex and I had the same argument. But nothing ever changed – it’s one of the biggest reasons we’re no longer together.
You have to learn from it and make healthy changes moving forward.
9. Repair When Needed
Have you ever found yourself fighting with your partner about one thing and twenty minutes later you’ve gone through an entire laundry list of shit you’re mad about?
When that happens, you need to repair. It’s not that one partner is holding a grudge, it’s that they feel as though they aren’t being heard or that changes aren’t being made. And it needs to be addressed before you can truly have an unstoppable love.
10. Learn To Let Go
You’re not always going to get your way, even in your own relationships. Sometimes fights happen for no other reason than your partner had a bad day. Or maybe your partner left dirty socks where you asked them not to five million times before. When you come to times like these, sometimes you have to let go, to avoid the fight. Come back to it when your calm and remind your partner, or tell your partner what is going on.
11. Never Stop Building Trust
Trust is difficult to gain and maintain, but it takes just a moment to break. Being completely transparent with your partner is the only real way to keep building trust. Don’t hide things or leave them out just because you don’t think that your partner will care. Chances are, they care about you, and all that comes with you. So keep that trust going.
12. Stay Together For The Right Reasons
How many times have you come across a friend or relative who is with someone not because they love them, or because they want to be with them? They are there because of a variety of reasons. Maybe they are just comfortable. Or possibly they are afraid of being alone. Maybe they stay together for the kids.
No matter the reason, the real way to make your love unstoppable is to be with that person because you want to be.
13. Have Realistic Expectations
That new phase I talked about at the beginning of this article definitely doesn’t last forever (But boy do I wish it would). We become comfortable, work gets in the way, distance becomes an issue. We never know what life is going to throw at us. Even time plays a major part. So be realistic about what you can expect from your partner and what they can expect from you.
14. Respect Each Other
Nothing can wear on a relationship more than having one person feel like the other doesn’t respect them. No matter what, continue to believe in one another. Continue to believe in yourselves. Keep the mutual respect for each other alive.
15. Embrace Reality
Because the truth is, no relationship is perfect and that’s okay. Your relationship is, and always will be, unique to you and your partner. That means you know each other and your relationship better than anyone. So listen to your gut, and do what’s best for the both of you individually and together.
Anything we missed?